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Busy Pastor

One night after supper the phone in the church parsonage rang. "It's Mrs. Arnold," said the Rev. Smith, covering the mouthpiece. "She wants me to come over and see her son who's just come home from the Army."

"But Daddy," l2-year-old Tom protested, "Aren't you going to play chess with me like you said you would?"

”Not tonight, Son. We can't let a chess game interfere with the Lord's work."

"But Jim," said his wife, "You've been on the go since 7 this morning."

"Elizabeth, you know the ministry is no eight-hour-day job."

When he got home that night, Pastor Smith found his family in bed. His wife, however, got up. She reminded him he'd been out for 13 nights in a row. "Don't you have any time for the family?" she asked.

"Now, Elizabeth, you know I'd give more time to you and the children if I could. Do you think I prefer spending three or four evenings a month sitting at Mrs. Parker's bedside?"

By the time Rev. and Mrs. Smith came to see me, their disagreements had turned to bitter misunderstanding. He was resentful toward her because she would not put family matters back of the Lord's work. She was grimly silent; positive he was in the wrong, but ashamed she had upset the household.

My part was to help Rev. Smith see that when he became a husband and then a father he took on new roles. Ephesians 5:23 speaks of a husband's loving relationship to his wife and Proverbs 22:6 tells parents of their duty to train their children. As a man with a family, he was clearly neglecting these responsibilities.

"l know," he sighed. "But what should I do? Neglect my church?"

Neglect was not the answer, I told him. He needed to find a balance among his several roles.

Rev. Smith and his wife both wanted a good family life. To accomplish it, the pastor had to set reasonable limits to his services. He found, to his surprise, a sympathetic and helpful congregation. Mrs. Parker really didn't mind if he dropped in for a short while in the afternoon instead of after supper. And others came to value their pastor's time and energies and to limit their requests.

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The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.