When you speak or act in a way that you know in your heart to be wrong, you pay with your emotions. You chip away at your own self respect. But one of the most important principles that you can apply to your life is that your mental health is in your control. YOU are the one who must CHOOSE how to respond to individuals and situations in your life that are less than perfect.

You might say – if only this person would change, then all these wonderfully warm friendly qualities would be released in me. Not so. Nobody can cause you to be angry, stubborn, immovable, inflexible, and easily irritable. Your behavior is determined by your spirit, and your spirit involves you and God. It’s a unique relationship. It has nothing to do with anyone else.

Romans 13:1-2 says “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers for there is no power but of God and the powers that are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resists the power resists the ordinance of God, and they that resist shall receive unto themselves damnation” (KJV). The NIV puts it in a gentler way – “will bring judgment on themselves.” You see, your behavior makes a difference to you.

Don’t allow yourself to drift away from allowing the Lord to fill your heart with His Spirit day by day. Nobody can stop you from calling on God to fill you with His love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, and patience. Do what you’re doing and saying in His Name, as though He was right there with you. Let Him help you feel the relief of walking through life with a thankful spirit.

Philippians 2:2-4 tells us to “let nothing be done through strife or vain glory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem the other better than themselves” (KJV).

Becoming preoccupied with the negative qualities of anyone or anything in your life causes you to lose sight of good things. The Creator of the universe laid down His life for you. He has chosen to put the emphasis on your spiritual life. He has chosen to give you of His Spirit, and to make your burden light. He gives you the ability to honor him in all that you do and say.

Take a step . . .
Are you presently holding onto a heavy burden? Open your heart to God’s Spirit and let Him fill your life with joy, peace, love, kindness, and gentleness. Take a moment to pray this prayer:

Lord, help me to be conscious of the fact that You have something to say about the way I interact with people and situations in my life. Help me to be more aware of my response to the tasks that are given to me and how I interact with people. Today I choose to commit what I do and say to You, looking to You for that spirit of joy that you died to give me, doing it in Your Name. Help me to remember I do this with You by my side. In Jesus Name, I pray. Amen.

Read Colossians 3:17; Romans 13:1-2; Philippians 2:2-4

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This is a summary of Dr. Brandt’s message Biblical Behavior.

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The use of words is the most common subject that comes up in my consulting room. This is a difficult subject to write about, because words get tangled up with the emotions as well as with a person’s mental activity.

With words, we compliment and praise one another. Our words can be comforting, helpful, supportive, instructive, revealing all those good things that are on our minds.

On the other hand, words can cut, hurt, or tear someone up without leaving a mark. Words can be used to deceive, mislead, or conceal what is on your mind.

• They speak falsehood to one another; with flattering lips…they speak (Ps. 12:2).
• The tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks deceit; with his mouth one speaks peace to his neighbor, but inwardly he sets an ambush for him (Jer. 9:8).
• Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him (Prov. 29:20).

Many people have long ago forgotten the spankings received as a child but can recall vividly some of the tongue lashings and hostile criticisms received along the way.

Married couples who seek counsel have long ago forgotten the tender words exchanged among themselves but can easily recall some of the stinging, sarcastic, critical, deceptive words that seem to weld themselves on their minds. As the Bible puts it:

• He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles (Prov. 21:23).
• And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned (Matt. 12:36-37).
• He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him (Prov. 18: 13).
• If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless (James 1:26).

The Bible makes it clear that hasty words, a fiery tongue, concealing your true thoughts, complaining, slandering, lying, and deceit, are unacceptable to God. Your own sense of self-respect depends in part on your knowledge of how you manage your own words.

The positive use of our words does not imply a spineless person who has no opinions or takes no action. We are surrounded by responsibility for employees, fellow laborers, family members, and friends. Frequently, everyone must deal with the evil intentions of other people.

Jesus, when instructing His disciples, taught them:

“Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him. . . and if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him” (Luke 17:3-4).

In his second letter to Timothy, Paul instructed him:

“Preach the word: be ready in season, and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction” (2 Tim. 4:2).

So, along with David the psalmist, a good objective for anyone can be as he stated it:

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, 0 LORD, my rock and my redeemer” (Ps. 19:14).

Some tips:

1. When you are aware that someone has something against you, it’s your move. Jesus says:

“If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that you brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering” (Matt. 5:23-24).

2. When you have something against someone else, it’s your move. Jesus says again:

“If your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer” (Matt. 18: 15-17).

What is Jesus saying? Simply that whether you have something against someone, or someone has something against you, either way it’s your move to go to that person and go out of your way to attempt a reconciliation.

If you use the Bible as your guide for your choice of words, you are on the road to building up your self-respect and becoming indestructible.

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This is an excerpt of chapter 6 from Dr. Brandt’s book I Want Happiness Now!