TRAGIC DEATHS
He must have been in his early forties. She looked a bit younger. She held a little baby, perhaps two months old. They had anticipated this week-long family conference situated in a wooded area beside a clear, large lake.
Tragedy had marred the last year. Their four-year-old daughter died after a lingering illness. Soon after the next pregnancy, both his family and her family gathered at the hospital for the results of an ultrasound test to determine the sex of their unborn second child. Expecting an exciting announcement, the whole family was shocked when a somber doctor stated that the baby she was carrying was dead.
It was a heavy Christmas that year. Very few of their friends stood with them. They faced their sorrow alone. Even the progress of a third pregnancy and new son’s birth had not eased their pain.
We were two days into the family conference. They were not enjoying themselves as they had hoped. The double deaths a year ago haunted them here with all the other families together in the dining room. He was also burdened with the recent failure of a business relationship, which left him with a large financial obligation.
Could I help them? He sat there with clenched teeth behind tight lips. She held on to her little baby with a look of desperation.
How could anyone bear such trouble? No glib answer would magically remove their burdens. But there was an answer which seemed clear to me. However, my guess was that they weren’t ready to talk about answers; they were too preoccupied with their problems. I encouraged and prayed with them for an open mind as they attended the meetings.
As one of the conference speakers, my emphasis was on forgiving people their trespasses whether they asked for it or not, or even if you never saw them again. Nursing a grudge within your own mind hurts no one else but you. You are a slave to the person you hate. Jesus said,
“If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Matthew 6:14-15, NKJV
The other speaker expounded Galatians. The works of the flesh block the fruit of the Spirit. The barrier was made out of hatred, contentions, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambition, dissensions, and envy.
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23, NKJV
“Why would anyone turn their back on an inner life like that?” he asked.
Two days later the couple visited me. Clenched teeth and tight lips had become radiant smiles. They just dropped in to let me know that they listened and got their answers. They had dealt with their own sins. They didn’t need to talk to me anymore. Besides, they had to get to the lakeside to enjoy the afternoon.
Three months later, I received a phone call from them. All is well; he and his partner have resolved their differences.
It was a very complex problem, and I apparently had very little to do with the solution. This was God’s doing, not mine. Was this too simple? We must be careful not to underestimate the help available to hungry, open-minded Christians from a prayer-filled conference.