Sin Is the Root of Resistance
What is sin?
The Bible tells us that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). What is sin? This is a word that many people dislike. At this point it will be helpful to review Lesson 4. Sin is selfishness. This includes bitterness, stubbornness, rebellion, anger, wrath, malice, hostility, and disobedience to parents. As we look upon our tender little ones, they seem clean and pure and innocent. We wish they were as innocent as they look, but we know that in their hearts lies the potential for all kinds of sin.
Children are sinners
No one yet has presented the problem of a child who never disobeys. Did you ever hear of a child like that? To rebel is normal. It is part of human nature. Every time you give birth to a child you bring a rebel, a sinner, into the world. You may not like this, and the fact may make you feel uncomfortable. You wish it were not true, and many cannot believe it is. Both the Bible and experience, however, tell us that it is true. The minute you set a limit, your child will tend to want to break it. This is as normal as breathing. This applies not only to children. All of us have the tendency to rebellion.
Parents are sinners
One of the biggest battles in counseling with tense, anxious, frustrated Christians is that of convincing them that they have sinned. “Are we not finished with sin when we are saved?” they ask. What is it that causes two Christians to have violent differences? It is sin (1 Corinthians 3:3). Transgression of the law in any detail is sin. The Bible tells us that “whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all” (James 2:10). If we could only realize the subtlety of sin! If only as Christian adults we could grasp the truth that when we have said or felt or thought or desired something that is out of line with the revealed will of God, this is displeasing to God and is sin! If we would maintain a constant spirit of repentance, we could save ourselves the frustrations of many a tense, anxious day and many a sleepless night. The next time you find yourself wrought up or trying to control your tongue from saying something that you know is not right, be honest with yourself. Be honest with God. Get off by yourself in a quiet place and confess and repent.
Degrees of rebellion may vary
In training children, we find that they all tend to be rebellious. It is true that there are different degrees of rebellion. The first child may be easygoing. A second child may be a violent rebel. The third child may be a silent rebel. These are all different degrees of the manifestation of sin. Anyone who has two children will tell you how different one is from the other. You wonder how your training could produce such variations. Anyone who has three will tell you how different each of them is from the other two! There is not necessarily anything wrong with you or your training. It is just that people are different, and we rebel in different ways and degrees. Some of us can do wrong in the most gracious way.
An example of gracious rebellion was observed in a nursery school. A little boy was there who had been told not to climb up on a table. He did so anyway. One of the women was about to scold him and take him down. He saw her coming, stretched out his arms, with a big smile wrapped his little arms around her, and before she could say anything, he said, ”I’m sorry.” She was about to say, “Get off the table!” Instead, she very gently put him down on the floor. She had no more than turned her back when he climbed on the table again. This child was just as rebellious as the child who might defiantly climb on the table. The diplomatic boy was just as wrong as a disagreeable child would have been–both disobedient.
Over and over, wherever there are children in this world, parents ask: “What am I going to do with my child? He won’t listen!” Of course, he won’t listen. A little child is rebellious and tends to do what he wants to do. Some children will be pleasant about it, and some will be objectionable about it. Either response manifests the same principle–man tends to rebel. Do you see how you can be far out of line and be very sweet about it? This is just as disobedient as being unpleasant. If you put two or more children together to play and leave them alone without any adult supervision, it will not be long before there is a conflict. Conflict among people in every age group is just as normal as breathing.
The Cure for Resistance
You should be rearing your children with the consciousness that they need a Saviour and that they need a Keeper. They must find the power of God that will enable them to live right. You can control your children with stares, threats, promises, rewards, and many other techniques. The only effective control, however, is that of the child’s being motivated by a love for God–not only by a love for you or a fear of you.
A mother, speaking of a son who had gotten into some trouble, said: “I am so glad he didn’t tell me about these terrible things he has done until I returned from my trip. It would have spoiled my vacation.” This mother was as serious as she could be. She did not realize that her boy needed a better reason for being good than that of keeping his mother from fretting. She had told him that her happiness depended upon his behaving himself.
You must have a much better reason than this for asking your children to conform. If you use the threat of your own unhappiness, you deny the very essence of being and living as a Christian. And what is meant by that? Just this: no matter how cantankerous your children are and no matter how upsetting the affairs of your life may be, your peace of mind in Christ should be independent of circumstances. You should teach your children these things, and they will learn them best by seeing a demonstration (Philippians 4:5-7). These are not just beautiful words. Peace, comfort, consolation, and joy should be your daily experience by faith in God through the Lord Jesus Christ. The resistance to your training should develop these qualities in you.