“MY BROTHER AND I CAN’T STAND EACH OTHER”
Tim Daley is a biblical counselor; we have compared notes for years. Four hundred men were at a retreat that he invited me to attend. I was to learn that thirty-five of them were there because his life had touched their lives.
Bert was one of the men at this conference. He had set up certain procedures for the insurance agents who worked for him to follow. One agent who refused to comply was Bert’s older brother. Over the next year the two of them had many strained conversations about the issue, which became more and more heated.
One day when they were angrily throwing verbal bricks at each other, his brother cleaned out his office and left. Bert called him on the phone a few days later. The verbal barrage continued until, finally, Bert hung up on his brother. He was livid with rage.
There was no contact for a month.
Earlier, when his brother first came to work with Bert, they had agreed that any problem would be worked out amiably and that work details would not interfere with family ties. Yet here they were sharply divided and a major holiday coming up.
Finally Bert consulted with Tim Daley, who listened intently to the story. Tim leaned forward and said, “You are a bitter, angry man. The way you talked to your brother is unacceptable as a Christian example. You need to repent and then apologize to your brother for your bad attitude. You will not find peace until you do.” End of interview.
Bert wasn’t prepared for that. He was expecting some reassurance that Bert was justified in his response because of the problem his brother created.
He pondered Tim’s advice. He was afraid to call his brother, but the idea plagued him. Bert was reluctant to admit that he was bitter, angry, and self-righteous. Finally he admitted this to God with a repentant heart and asked to be cleansed and empowered to love his brother. To his surprise, his resistance to calling his brother turned into an urge to see him.
His brother didn’t want to see him. Bert heard himself pleading for a twenty-minute meeting. It was agreed to reluctantly.
They met at the appointed place. His brother said nothing, but Bert felt compassion toward him. Gone was the bitterness. He proceeded to apologize for the attitude he had toward his brother. He asked for forgiveness; his brother had tears in his eyes, as did Bert.
Bert said that at that moment it was as though a two-hundred pound weight was lifted frorn his shoulders.
Two years have passed. The problem is behind them. Allowing God to change his heart was the first step in changing a complex problem into a simple one. Bert was a repentant prayer away from a change of heart all the time.
There are many more such stories happening every day. Jesus said:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28, KJV
The Psalmist said:
Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you. . . .
Psalm 55:22, NASB
I often have people tell me, “Dr. Brandt, it’s just not that simple!”
My reply is, “Have you tried it?”
Long pause.
End of discussion.
Many argue with me on this point . . . except my clients.