GETTING YOUR MINDS TOGETHER
…being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose (Philippians 2:2).
If your minds are not together, you are not together. I recall meeting a man at a conference who was talked into attending against his will. He was there in body but not in mind and left in two days.
A lady told me how she despised the dress she was wearing. She hated the color, but her husband made her wear it.
A man suffered agony sitting in church every Sunday morning. He was there bodily to get his wife off his back, but his mind wasn’t there.
These people illustrate the struggle that goes on in our minds. If fellowship is the goal, this mental conflict must cease. There are a variety of ways to come to a meeting of minds:
- Agreement
- Concession
- Compromise
- Acceptance of authority
AGREEMENT
When two or more people decide to drive to New York next Tuesday and stay at a certain Holiday lnn for a week—and there are no mental reservations—this could be called an agreement.
CONCESSION
If someone in the party prefers a Sheraton Inn, but finally agrees to the Holiday Inn, this is a concession—provided the decision is made without mental reservations.
COMPROMISE
On the way to New York, the travelers take turns driving. One drives 50 mph, the other 70 mph. One’s speed is too slow to suit the other, and the other’s speed is too fast for his partner. So, they agree to both drive 60 mph. This is a compromise.
ACCEPTANCE OF AUTHORITY
The travelers differ over how often to stop along the way and where to eat. Finally, they agree there must be a leader who has the last word, and one of them is chosen to be the leader.
The leader decides to give the traveling partner the responsibility for deciding where to eat. The leader will decide when to stop. This is accepting authority.
NEGOTIATION INVOLVES THE EMOTIONS AND ATTITUDES
No person can separate feelings, thoughts, and actions as we have done in this book. This is especially true when differences of opinion arise. We all tend to go our own way, and our opinions will sooner or later collide with someone else’s. So to work on being like-minded is a continuous process, and the process will reveal the spirit.
THE NEWLYWEDS
Two newlyweds plan on both working. But the wife gets pregnant, so they must revise their plans. They are finally accustomed to her pregnancy when she has the baby, which calls for new plans again. About the time they adjust to the baby it is now a toddler, which requires more shifts in plans.
So it goes all our lives. There are constant changes forcing us to make adjustments all requiring daily decisions. The necessity for making all these decisions calls for a certain attitude as described by this verse:
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself (Philippians 2:3).
Negotiating new agreements can be fun only if you approach one another unselfishly, humbly, and keep the importance of the other person in mind.
When there is a difference of opinion and you are not walking in the Spirit, it is easy to lose sight of the importance of the other person and become preoccupied with the negative side of the person you are negotiating with.
In marriage counseling, I have observed that a young person contemplating marriage can’t say enough good about their partner, who has become the most important person in the world.
But in the consulting room, because they are no longer like-minded, all they can think of is what’s wrong with the partner. This negative way of thinking can happen whenever there is a clash of opinion, even though the qualities of the opponent are still there.